Realization

I've come to the realization that my feelings for him really haven't changed.

And sometimes, just sometimes, I get the feeling that maybe his haven't changed either.

Ties that bind and pledges

Last night I had the pleasure of attending the Board of Supervisors meeting for the proposal for the racetrack. First of all, it was amazing to see the support for them - around 150 people. The courtroom was PACKED! Several well-spoken people shared their opinion in favor of their operation. However. Over the past few years in the news there's been all this flack about the Pledge of Allegiance being said at various events. Ya know what? I'm all for "One nation, under God." And, saying it last night, in that crowded room, just . . . the funny part, though, was that there were all these race supporters. Afterwards, shouldn't SOMEONE have said, "Gentleman, start your engines"? It ended up being shorter, rather than longer, and we all went to dinner afterwards. Had a great time, but later ended up spending time with the Ramsey/Ruley clan at the ER. Which, got me to thinking. When I found out that my grandfather had passed away, I was at a party at K.'s house. I was so grateful to have someone there, right at that minute, that was able to just be there. I was glad to be able to return the favor, if only slightly last night. I kept K.'s kids for her Saturday night, and like I told her, I don't know who had more fun! I love kids - love being around them, near them. Maybe because I've not grown up yet, maybe because it hits the snooze alarm on my own mythological biological clock, but keeping her kids is one of the highlights of things that I get to do.

When it comes from friendship, I've seen people who days into knowing someone, consider them "best" friends. I don't think that's possible, and here's why. Friendship is like rope. You slowly add fibers. Birthday parties, funerals, tragedies, celebrations. Finding that perfect dress for the perfect date, plotting revenge, consoling over boys and bad haircuts, having that person that you just HAVE to call because there is no WAY they are going to believe this, that's what friendships are forged from. Every time there's a happening (snow tubing this Saturday!) adds another string to the rope and makes it that much stronger. When the REALLY bad things happen, those ropes are the ones that catch you. My net is spectacular - I couldn't ask for better, more amazing friends.

Thurs - almost to Fri!

Wowza. What a week! I stayed bored out of my skull this past weekend, but in the long run, it was good for me to have some down time. Britney re-injured her knee, so she's on "quiet" time this week. Dr. Noe said to have her stay calm and resting while we see if she's just strained it, or if she's a surgical candidate. Yeah, have you seen my dog? Anyway, Cindy came over and helped me take my bed off the frame so it's easier for her to get up and down. Ok, ok, OK! Yes. She's spoiled. But you know what? I don't care! She's my baby girl, and I'm going to take care of her best that I can! I'm bringing my running clothes to work, changing here, then running, THEN going home, so she doesn't realize I'm cheating on her. Had a bunch of meetings this week, training, etc., for the bank, but it's all been good stuff. E. may be coming over for dinner Fri. night, but I'll have to wait and see. That drive puts a damper on more frequent get-togethers! I'm going to keep Karey's kids Saturday night, and I'm really looking forward to it. I always enjoy playing with them, and it gives me something to do.

I got to thinking again this morning about music. That, and smells, are the 2 quickest ways to trigger a memory for me. You know, "Leave the Pieces" will always remind me of D., "Born to Be My Baby" will always remind me of DB, my 7th grade boyfriend. Isn't it just amazing how little things trigger such strong emotions? Every time I smell Fahrenheit, which, is a pretty rare fragrance, it takes me back to walking through the mall in Idaho, my friend looking for a new coat. Memories are great things . . . especially the happy ones!

Snow!

Howdy, y'all! I realize it's been a while since I posted, and I didn't think the week was that crazy, but I guess I thought wrong. Had a normal but busy week. Tuesday night, a local company here hosted the fire/EMS companies in the immediate response area, and they did a really nice job! It was just a nice dinner, and "thank you" for everything done. Pretty decent of them . . . and yummy food (thanks Landon!)

Wed. night, I made cookies. Y u m m y cookies. They're SOOO simple, but see, I had lost a bet with Stacey, so I had to make her some food. That girl can EAT, and yes, she's a perfect size 0. Doesn't that make you sick???? I'd hate her if she wasn't so darn cute! Anyway, I brought those in to work on Thursday, and she LOVED them! I haven't made anything yet she doesn't like, but I was still pleased that she appreciated them. I adore Stacey - I've never met anyone so cheerful, upbeat, friendly, and easy to get along with.

Thursday I woke up to big fluffy flakes of S N O W. Now, I love snow. It's gorgeous, peaceful, amazing stuff. When you are a kid!!! Don't get me wrong, I still love it as an adult, but it takes on a different aspect when you have to worry about scraping windshields, de-icing steps, getting to work. Getting to work isn't so much of a problem because Dave will get me and Cindy, but still. Now, for my western friends, get this: 5" of snow, calling for sleet/freezing rain, so we shut down the branches and everyone went home!!! Ain't that wild?? Love it though - I got home, and promptly grabbed Britney and headed to the river. She's like a kid when it comes to snow - loves running/rolling/shnuffling/eating it. She also loves for me to throw snowballs to jump after - catches them in her mouth and shakes them to nothing. It's so much fun to watch, and you realize that really, all is right in the world. The down side? Poor baby girl couldn't put any weight on her back leg last night! So, I gave her a double dose of pain meds, and she seems to be doing better today. Hopefully, I'll keep her calm this weekend and things will be back to normal.

I started a running program. Before Britney and I both blew out our knees, I was running 4 miles a day. So, I downloaded a running program, "Couch to 5k in 12 weeks", and let me tell ya - I'm LOVING it! It's so do-able. And, I'm back on my diet - no Dr Pepper, sniff sniff, but I'll be better off for it. GOT to get back into shape!

Ok, didn't mean to write a novel - I'm going to go kick back and relax! Three day weekend, baby! Gotta love those banker hours!

Sunday

Good MORNING, beautiful people! (I have a client that always says that when he comes in the door and I LOVE it). It's been a quiet morning around here (sorry A-darn, I was sleeping!), and I just took the fresh, made from scratch biscuits out of the oven. That's right, home cookin' baby! Last night was the banquet for the NBS. It was a GREAT time! Good food, good awards, and an awesome band! I realized that a bunch of drunks aren't NEARLY as fun when you're not one drinking! Some of those people were just downright idiots. Oh, yeah, go ahead and light the helium filled balloons on fire - I'm sure that'll turn out just fine! Luckily, cooler heads prevailed and just blew out the candles. The band rocked, and we had SO much fun dancing. I helped them set up on Friday night, and then again on Saturday with running errands and blowing up balloons. 200 balloons. That's a lotta hot air! And, no, I didn't do the inflating!!! Grrr. Got home about 1a, so I snoozed in a bit this morning. Now, I've got to get in gear, walk the mutt, and do some laundry!!! One of those necessary evils for the work week.

Sunday

Thursday

Alright ladies, here's a question for you that I've been pondering on and doing a very informal survey. How the heck do you know when and what to believe that a guy tells you?!?!? Do you listen to the rumors and innuendos? I've always been taught to believe none of what you hear, and only half of what you see. And, when someone is telling you a story, remember, there is MORE than just one side. And, sometimes three, and four, and oh, wait . . . the actual TRUTH! I've been blindsided more than once, and I usually have a pretty good feel for the players, but let me tell ya . . . . 2007 was a heart rocker for me! I'm still working on recovering. I had a couple of relationships end, and one that I'm not sure I'll ever recover from . . . nor do I necessarily want to! We still keep in touch, and let me tell you - to see his name pop up on the Caller ID still gets my heart to goin', even though I know that there's a better chance of the track getting snowed out in July! Do you ever really, truly, recover, and "get over" somebody, or do you just live, learn, and move on?

Right now I'm hanging out watching some "Cashmere Mafia", waiting for E. to get here. It's not Sex and the City, but I reckon it'll do. I've heard that "Lipstick Jungle" is supposed to be pretty good as well. This writer's strike, though - I see their point, but dang! It's call COMPROMISE from both sides! Tomorrow night I'm going to go help Karey do some setting up, and then Saturday is the banquet. Sunday = Recovery! LOL

Wednesday Morning

Good morning! I think my ears have recovered (can you hear me now?). Speaking of which, funny off-side story. When I was in Argentina, my dad had ventured into the world of cell phones. You know, "I'll never have one of those things". Anyway. Mom and Dad don't watch TV, so they don't know the pop-culture things that are out there. He couldn't figure out why I found it hysterical that he was walking around, finger in one ear, phone to the other, saying, "Can you hear me NOW?" I couldn't help myself. Fast forward 3 years, and we're in Africa, at the Hluhluwe park. (Pronounced Shluh Shloo ee) We're looking for elephants we could see from a ridge. Uncle Jack was in the front passenger seat, Mom and Aunt Robin were in the next seat, me in the next row, and Dad in the back. I turn around, and there's Dad, on his CELL PHONE! Too funny. Amazing reception out there!! And, why is it I don't have any at my house? Guess maybe Glasgow is more remote than Africa? I snapped pic after pic of elephants, until my card was full. Whipped out my laptop, downloaded the pics, and was ready to go again! The guide said that was the first time he had ever seen someone with the laptop on! At least it worked, and I got GREAT shots!

Got up early this morning and put a roast in the crock pot. Now, I'm all about quick and easy (Beefy Onion Soup Mix, dried garlic), but this morning, decided to do it right. I used those yummy pearl onions, and then fresh garlic. Ya know, that stuff was fun to smash open and use! I don't have a garlic press, so I had to make do. A press, and an apple corer are the two things that I would really like to have in my kitchen! E. called last night. I mentioned that I had been on a cooking kick and was going to do a roast today, so he said that if they rain out of work, he may ride on up! Hmm, 2 hours just to have dinner? I hope he shows up at the banquet Saturday night. Either way, I know that'll be a good time, simply because Karey and Laurie are going to be there!!! Even without racing, I've had something to do EVERY weekend. Have I mentioned how much fun life is?

Sunday Afternoon

Howdy, y'all. This has been an awesome weekend! I went to dinner and a movie Fri night. Saw "Nat'l Treasure". Good, but not as good as the original. Saturday I got Britney shot (rabies!), and then worked at the track. More people than I expected, but far from a crowd. Then, (since my life is so normal) plans changed back, and I ended up at the David Allen Coe concert. Let me tell you - there were some drunk fools there! We had a blast though. Although, my ears are RINGING today! Eric is actually a decent dancer. I got to meet some of his friends, and they all assured me that he's on the up and up - no skeletons in the closet/secrets at home that I need to worry about - Works for me. You mean normal is still out there?? I stayed at the Ramada Inn, since they have a deal for Cattle Annie events. It just wasn't worth driving back across the mountain in the middle of the night. Got up, checked out, had breakfast, came home, walked the mutt, and now I get to be LAZY for the rest of the day!!! What are you into today?

Thursday Evening

Good evening, y'all! It was another normal day in my life. Things are good . . . real good. I had a card today from Drew. Ya know, I've said all along. The guy really knows how to just do the right thing, at the right time. Totally unexpected, and way appreciated. I've always envied that "easy" touch he has. He can get along with anyone, or at least make them believe it. Two of my favorite quotes come from him: Tact: The ability to make someone feel at home when you wish they were, and Diplomacy: the art of letting someone else have your way. Ain't those good? And SO true!! He's good at both of those.

Tonight is the great Hokie game. Not that I'm a big VT or UVA fan, but I like to see a good game so I imagine I'll tune in. I walked Britney tonight and let me tell ya: It's freakin' COLD out there! These tile floors don't hold heat really well!!

Had a good review at work today. That, plus the Olympian award that they told me about make for a fantastic year! You know, whenever I sit back and look at the good and bad in my life, I have to be grateful for all the good. 'Cause ya know what? Overall, I've got it GREAT. I love my life, love my dog, love my friends . . . what more could a girl want?

Another day . . .

at the office. I had to laugh this morning. Stacey was standing at my desk, and was all, "Oh, that's a cool fra . . . WAIT! That picture MOVED! While I was LOOKING at it!" Yeah, Stace, that's a DIGITAL frame! It was too funny. I got 95% of the Christmas schtuff taken down here at work today - we just have the wreaths up that I can't reach, and the tree itself. But, it's now a nekkid tree!!! Poor tree . . .

I think that Friday night I'm going out with TC - Dinner and a Movie. That's what we did the first go-round! He took me to see Ladder 49. Now, I'm all into the fire/rescue thing, but let me tell ya. I was SOBBING by the end of it! Maybe we'll go see National Treasure. I've been wanting to see that, and maybe I can make it through that one without any tear shed. He said he's even going to wear his uniform, and y'all know how much I LOVE that! Then, it's racing on Saturday, and recovery on Sunday. Ain't life grand??? :-)

Tonight should be pretty quiet. I'm going to go see the baby, then walk MY baby, then relax! My sleep schedule got all screwed up with that call the other night. I am definately not as young and stupid as I once was.

More Boy Stuff

I can't remember if I wrote about this guy or not, but he was on my mind in a round-a-bout way, so here goes.

Josh was my first "real" boyfriend. I'm not 100% sure how we got introduced, but I know that he and David (aka Dickey) were tight in high school, and I spent some time around them. I really liked Josh. He lived up the road from me a ways, (southern grammar!), and had a younger sister and a pit bull named Princess. For my birthday, Josh, Nicole, and her BF hosted a party for me. I remember Princess eating a piece of steel wool. This dog would eat anything. I later gave her the leftover mayo from the artichokes we had, and Josh freaked out. Yeah, like mayo was going to hurt her! Sadly Princess later died when she was napping by the pool and rolled over, into the pool, and drowned. End of story.

Not really. I got side tracked. It's been a day like that. Josh would pick me up, then we'd get Nicole, and she and I would ride in the back of his truck to her B/F's house, and then we would go to the river in Bat Cave, or on down to Lake Lure. Nicole and I lived on Slim Jim's and Black Cherry Mystic Juice. It was such an awesome summer. I remember the sun being so bright, and the sky so blue, wind in our hair, and knowing that life didn't get better than this. Nicole later told Josh some untrue things, and caused us to break up. I was heartbroken. I just knew that no one would ever be as good/kind/wonderful. Ah, young love.

Fast forward: I've gone to college in Idaho, met a wonderful RM, fell in love, and got my heart broken. I had believed in the myth that everyone gets married at Ricks (Hello, it's not called an MRS degree for nothing!), and now I was going home with horrible grades and no love. I don't remember if Josh called me, or I called him, but by the time I came home, we had decided to give it another go. By this time, he was in Paramedic school, and living with David. They talked me into going to AB Tech, and spending my spare time with them. I was going to school, waiting tables, and playing with them in the evenings. They introduced me to the Dr Who song, as well as They Might Be Giants, I re-introduced David to the wonder of beef, and life was good. I went with David to get his tattoo, Josh took care of me the night I got sick from my MMR booster shot and thought I was dying. I loved life. By this time, Josh and David were rather . . . odd, but for some reason, Mom was totally ok with me spending time with them. She saw past the leather, the tattoos, the odd behaviors to see that deep down, they were good guys. Josh practiced his IV's on me . . . not one of my mother's happier "what has my daughter done" moments! By this time I moved on to SVU, and life in Virginia started to bloom. Josh eventually moved on, and I hadn't been in touch with him.

I got the call my senior year (more on this at another time) to come home. I did, I cried, and I helped plan a funeral for my brother. Even though I had moved on, any time Brad needed a "fix me up" (He had a bad habit of picking fights he couldn't win), he would call Josh. And, what I didn't realize, was that Josh was still taking care of him. I got in touch with his mother, and asked her to just let Josh know that Brad had died. Imagine my shock, surprise, and gratitude when Josh came to the service. As I was crying and hugging him, I said, "I can't believe you came." He held me tighter and said, "Baby Doll, where else would I be?" The next night, before I came back to school he came and took me for a drive. I don't remember what we said, or where we went, but I do remember his making me feel like it would be ok. And you know what? It was. And I am. And if you ever run into a Paramedic named Josh with curly dark hair and dark eyes, and the greatest smile in the world, give him a hug for me, ok? And tell him I still have his blue shirt - although it's falling apart, it's one of my favorite "comfy" ones to wear. He can't have it back.

Change of Plans

Well, ya'll - it looks like I have found something better to get into this weekend than that concert!!! :-) We'll see how it goes. I'll let ya know! We do have a race Saturday, so that'll take up that time. Seems strange to be racing when it's so cold. . . .

Got all the Christmas stuff down, so now the house is back to normal! I did get to go visit Allison in the hospital last night - she arrived yesterday morning at 3:41am!!! Sooooo tiny. Wow. 5 lbs, 13 oz! Sweet little baby girl - but I'm glad she's someone else's! Congrats Kayla, you're going to make an excellent mother.

I also plan on going to UT, TX, and CA within the next six month. I'm going to be a traveling fool! Gotta go visit family - I went to UT this past year, but I reckon it's time to do it again.

Happy New Year - 2008

Good afternoon! I finally got up at 12:30 today. Ok, I better justify that. I went to a party last night (pics are on MySpace) and had a fantastic time. Started feeling guilty because I was supposed to be on call, and while yes, I did find coverage, there wasn't any ALS. So, I had been in bed about 45 min when we were called out for a MVC, high impact, with ejection. Let me tell ya. I hit the floor running! I FINALLY got all said and done with around 5, which had my happy @ss in bed about 6. Ugh. Got up, walked Britney, and she found some wonderful treasure to roll in. Did I mention a STINKY treasure? So, she got a bath, and now I'm finishing up taking all the Christmas stuff down. I haven't set any resolutions yet . . . have you?