I can't help but share these. I work in the financial world, and while I realize not everyone understands finances, (heck, I can barely balance my checkbook!), there are some requests that just blow our minds.
"If I take money off my Home Equity Line, can I pay it back?" Umm, actually, we hope you will!
"I keep trying to cash my check with the auto-teller, but it won't do it." --Ok, where exactly were you trying to cash it? "I keep trying to shove it in that little slot thing, but it won't take it!" --To be fair, I have seen ATM's that WILL cash checks, but ours isn't one of them, and doesn't remotely look like one!
"Are you open today or is it a holiday?" Nope! We just have people here answering the phone for the people who call in.
"If I take money off my Home Equity Line, can I pay it back?" Umm, actually, we hope you will!
"I keep trying to cash my check with the auto-teller, but it won't do it." --Ok, where exactly were you trying to cash it? "I keep trying to shove it in that little slot thing, but it won't take it!" --To be fair, I have seen ATM's that WILL cash checks, but ours isn't one of them, and doesn't remotely look like one!
"Are you open today or is it a holiday?" Nope! We just have people here answering the phone for the people who call in.
Just a few we've had this past week. Really. I'm not kidding. Before I die, there are two sentences I want to say. #1 is how I'd like this conversation to go. "I can't understand why I'm overdrawn." Me: because you've spent more money than what you have!!
Let's move on the squad things, since I just came from a meeting, so squad calls are on my mind! Normally, when we say we're headed to the hospital, it's based on the level of service we can offer. So, Basic Life Support would be, "Rescue 33, enroute." Paramedic level would be, "Medic 33, enroute." Just once, I want to say, "Taxi 33" I'll have to make it on my last call, because I'm sure it won't go over well, but people! Really! Getting there in an ambulance does NOT mean that you are going to get better/faster service. I promise! Note to self to stop talking about this, since I am on call tonight and am sure to jinx myself! Gotta love the people that call 911 at 3am for General Illness. We roll up in there, "So, what made you decide to call for the squad NOW?" "I just couldn't take it anymore." Or, how about this one. Person calls in, well after midnight, for "extreme tiredness" Yeah, dude, me too!!!! When I joined the squad, I had 2 goals. I wanted to deliver a baby, and save a life. Know what? I have YET to do either one!!! I'm frequently told, "I could NEVER do that." I used to think that. Then, Brad was killed in a car accident, and it really bothered me, to wonder if someone better/faster/smarter had gotten there, if it would have made a difference. I now realize, er, um, nope. Dead on impact really means dead on impact. Seen it. Really. But, it made me want to be able to prevent another person from feeling that if I could. Then, my friend joined, and convinced me to do it with him. I can count on both hands, in 6 years time, the number of "gross" calls I've had. And you know what? They're usually gross in such a cool way that it doesn't freak me out! Plus, volunteering makes me feel like I'm giving something back, and I love helping people. Maybe not so much in the middle of a dream about my yummy friend, but hey, we don't get to pick the times! But, I should show some special love for a particular breed of people who have AMAZING patience - our dispatchers. How often can you get PAID to tell someone where to go? For the most part, ours are wonderful. I'm horrible with directions, and I usually need someone very patient to repeat the address, or get me in the right direction. They should involve, "Turn Right/Left out of the parking lot." We're out in the boonies, and it's easy to get turned around! These people sit, waiting for that phone to ring, and then get to coordinate everyone there. I lurve me some dispatchers. Yes, I'm saying that so y'all will keep things shhhhhhhh tonight. :-)
ETA: I just got up this morning (730), and I KNEW better. We had two calls last night - Mutual Aid for a tree down in the road (we don't go for the tree - not much we can do there, but for the people who might run into said tree, and the people working on clearing it out), and a Tractor/Trailer on fire. Guy realizes his rig has flames coming out, so he pulls off the interstate . . . right at a gas station! Yup. People just amaze me sometimes, but needless to say, I'm a little sleep deprived this morning.
Let's move on the squad things, since I just came from a meeting, so squad calls are on my mind! Normally, when we say we're headed to the hospital, it's based on the level of service we can offer. So, Basic Life Support would be, "Rescue 33, enroute." Paramedic level would be, "Medic 33, enroute." Just once, I want to say, "Taxi 33" I'll have to make it on my last call, because I'm sure it won't go over well, but people! Really! Getting there in an ambulance does NOT mean that you are going to get better/faster service. I promise! Note to self to stop talking about this, since I am on call tonight and am sure to jinx myself! Gotta love the people that call 911 at 3am for General Illness. We roll up in there, "So, what made you decide to call for the squad NOW?" "I just couldn't take it anymore." Or, how about this one. Person calls in, well after midnight, for "extreme tiredness" Yeah, dude, me too!!!! When I joined the squad, I had 2 goals. I wanted to deliver a baby, and save a life. Know what? I have YET to do either one!!! I'm frequently told, "I could NEVER do that." I used to think that. Then, Brad was killed in a car accident, and it really bothered me, to wonder if someone better/faster/smarter had gotten there, if it would have made a difference. I now realize, er, um, nope. Dead on impact really means dead on impact. Seen it. Really. But, it made me want to be able to prevent another person from feeling that if I could. Then, my friend joined, and convinced me to do it with him. I can count on both hands, in 6 years time, the number of "gross" calls I've had. And you know what? They're usually gross in such a cool way that it doesn't freak me out! Plus, volunteering makes me feel like I'm giving something back, and I love helping people. Maybe not so much in the middle of a dream about my yummy friend, but hey, we don't get to pick the times! But, I should show some special love for a particular breed of people who have AMAZING patience - our dispatchers. How often can you get PAID to tell someone where to go? For the most part, ours are wonderful. I'm horrible with directions, and I usually need someone very patient to repeat the address, or get me in the right direction. They should involve, "Turn Right/Left out of the parking lot." We're out in the boonies, and it's easy to get turned around! These people sit, waiting for that phone to ring, and then get to coordinate everyone there. I lurve me some dispatchers. Yes, I'm saying that so y'all will keep things shhhhhhhh tonight. :-)
ETA: I just got up this morning (730), and I KNEW better. We had two calls last night - Mutual Aid for a tree down in the road (we don't go for the tree - not much we can do there, but for the people who might run into said tree, and the people working on clearing it out), and a Tractor/Trailer on fire. Guy realizes his rig has flames coming out, so he pulls off the interstate . . . right at a gas station! Yup. People just amaze me sometimes, but needless to say, I'm a little sleep deprived this morning.
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