Sunday, October 18, 2009

Part Deux

So, the next morning, woke up, thinking, "Wow, I need to get my oil changed before we head back to school." Then, "Oh my heck - I'm thinking about my oil being changed, rather than THAT." We went to Church, and I lasted through the main service before I was out of there. I couldn't take, not for another second, all the "oh poor Sheri" looks I felt like I was getting. I knew if one more person that I barely knew tried to hug me, I'd probably lose it. So Msh and I headed home. That's when the food started to roll in. What is it with people bringing food? But, I have to say, the things I remember liking the most? Canned drinks, paper products, and the AMAZING deli meat tray. Msh ran interference as people came in . . . since she REALLY didn't know anyone, she'd introduce them, and then smoothly pass it off to me. Girl was GOOD. Monday was spent running errands, placing an obituary, and calling people/answering the phone. And, I was amazed at the things people asked. One lady: Is there a viewing? Me: No, we didn't feel like that was what we wanted. Her: Oh, was he messed up really bad and so you can't? Uh, no, lady, I just think that's rather morbid!!! And, I had to laugh when the paper called to verify that he really was dead . . . they said that people place fake obits all the time!!

You know, I don't remember much about the service, except for a few things. One woman from my old work came, Bobby came, and Josh came. J., esp, I was amazed when he showed up. And, when I said that, he told me, "Baby girl, of course I was going to be here."

The service was a fog, and while I'm sure I went to the cemetery, I don't remember that at all either. Not a single detail. Was it sunny? Cloudy? Isn't it funny how we block those things out?

I became involved in EMS because I didn't ever want anyone else to wonder like I did. What if someone better, had gotten there faster? (The answer: Wouldn't have mattered) I remember getting a card from the State Trooper and being amazed that he would take the time to do that.
This is scattered. It doesn't do justice to what I wanted to write. About 3 years ago, I went to NC with Msh for a meeting she had. I took her car and went to the cemetery. Once there, I did something I hadn't done over the year: I simply cried. I got mad, I got sad, I laughed, and I just sat, until there was no more crying to do.

I didn't realize until this year, the 10 year anniversary, how cathartic that had been. And now, I'm being done with it and I'm going to go back to posting about funny things, trivial things, and that sort.

Kind of like the GI-NORMOUS deer that just scared the daylights out of me and my puppy. But, that'll be for another day . . .